Working It Out

AUGUST 15, 2013

Lately, I've been craving the ability to work out, but I wasn't about to get a gym membership. So, I decided on the second best thing: I bought an elliptical machine!

I ordered it online at Walmart and had it delivered to the store closest to me. It was HEAVY! I needed an associate's assistance to load it in my car, and my roommate's help to get it up to our apartment. I assembled it all by myself, which took me about 2.5-2.75 hours. I felt really accomplish that I was able to finish it.

Pros:

• Space saver
• Lightweight
• Wheels at the front for mobility
• Fairly quiet - good for upstairs apartment - it won't bother the people downstairs!
• Sleek design

Cons:

• Needs a height requirement - I'm barely 5'1" and the handlebars are way too high! The picture on the website was very misleading - the model must have been close to 6 feet to be able to be taller than the handlebars!

Anyway, I was only able to last for 10 minutes today. I did just over a mile. Tomorrow, I'll aim for at least 1.5 miles and go from there in the coming days. Check out the before and after I posted on Instagram last night :)

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Sometimes...

AUGUST 12, 2013

This would be one of those days when I wish I have a best friend. Someone who I can talk to most days of the week and spill my heart and soul to. Someone who has a shoulder for me to cry on just because things are getting so damn hard to deal with. This would be the time when I wish I could just run away and forget that reality exists. The time when I wish I could dive into my books, fall in love, and never come back.

Sometimes I wish I can just... leave...

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A Letter To My Maker

To my dearest maker,

I thought of you today
I was driving into the ocean of your memories
My feet pushed on the accelerator... harder... and harder...
Until I was lost.

I remember the feel of your arms around me
The security it provided me
I ran and ran so I could reach you... finally
But you only disappeared

Where were you when I needed you most?
You were my sun
I thought I could be your star
But you left me, pushed me down even

Why?



Disclaimer: This is not a religious piece.

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Stress Haul: H&M and JCPenney

AUGUST 4, 2013

I visited my mom today. At first, I was irritated. Seriously, anything can set me off, especially the little things. We ended up at the mall. I went to H&M to hunt for my pink shirt that was ruined by grease. I also found a nice white shirt so I got one, too. 

I also visited JCPenney because my mom went there after H&M. I found two cute dresses, but I found that one of them was $34.99. There was no way I was paying for that. I did pay $27.00 including tax and everything for the red lacy dress with a belt. I thought it was a nice change for me.

Well, that's about it... Let's hope this stops soon... Which means I need to get my stress under control. Please pray for me..

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It Wasn't Meant To Be

AUGUST 2, 2013

Yesterday was my interview for the new position. I gave it my all and I thought the interview went well. Today I was given the result: I wasn't the chosen candidate. I was given kind words. As much as I didn't want it to bother me, I had a bad day after that.

Now what?

I'm not sure. I told myself I'll leave if I don't get promoted. Then my aunt sent me a text telling me not to give up. Regardless of when she actually sent it, the message stays the same. I need to keep going. I need to keep pushing. I need to keep fighting.

How do I do that when I'm so full of stress and all I seem to be able to do is frown? My smile has been stolen from me and it's getting harder to wear it on my face. The happy woman who came into this job, excited to be the best, now became someone who has tears on her eyes more often than before. The weight on her chest sometimes becomes unbearable and her resolve crumbles.

When you feel all alone in life, how do you keep pushing on?

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Stress Haul

JULY 31, 2013

I found that when I'm stressed, I shop. So, today was my day off and I ran some errands as usual. One of those errands was an oil change at Walmart. Of course, that meant I would be walking around the store for about an hour... The nail polish rack for Sinful Colors caught my eye, and when I saw the price $1.98, I immediately decided that I was going to look for a nice color. I recently developed the urge to wear mint colors, so I knew I needed a pretty mint shade. Along with that, I found a nice pastel pink and vibrant gold. Excited!

I had more time so I kept walking around. I remembered I wanted to buy Maybelline's Stiletto eyeliner. Sadly, I couldn't find it. However, I found something similar. I tried it when I got home, and I loved it!

I went to the Rimmel London shelf thinking they might have a liquid eyeliner that would be cheaper. I didn't find one, but I did find a new lip gloss! I don't wear lip gloss as often as when I was younger, but lately, I've been wishing I had a lip gloss to put over my lipstick. So, I decided to get one. This one looks really frosty and shimmery. I was hoping for more of a sheen gloss, but I guess we can't have everything we want. I'll keep using it and hope that I get used to it :)

Finally, I got a new bottle of shampoo. This is actually the only one I needed to buy as far as beauty goes. I returned the Vidal Sassoon shampoo and conditioner that I bought because it made my hair sticky and weird. I hate it when my hair is unhappy. I like it nice and smooth. Anyway, I've been using Suave and I love it. Inexpensive and amazing. This is the newest one I'm trying. It smells great and it's volumizing! I'm excited :)

Have you tried any of these products? How do you like them?

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More Stress

JULY 29, 2013

To think that I'm getting back to smiling again and enjoying my job is too much to ask for. Sadly, nothing's changed. One issue quiets down and another arises.

The guy who was reprimanded on my behalf isn't there anymore. Not sure if he was suspended or just gone for good. One less hazard to worry about.

The people chatting behind me also quieted down a little bit. There's still some, but not as bad as before. However, the ones a couple cubicles down started their own chatterbox. Every night, as soon as the designated lead for our row leaves for the day, the chatter starts and it never stops. There's still customers waiting to be assisted and all I hear is blah blah blah. We're not in freaking high school! This isn't a fucking class where you can just decide to slack off and socialize! How can these people still be working when clearly they're not a good fit for the job? What happened to the quality of employees rather than the quantity? They don't deserve to be there. They don't even work enough to earn their pay!

I'm just so frustrated, I just want to leave. But as a reasonable person, I don't want to leave just because it's getting too difficult to deal with, not only my customers, but my coworkers as well. The end of August can't get here fast enough for me to know whether I'm getting promoted before then, or I'm leaving and finding a new job. I don't want to deal with any more stress. My face has more frown lines nowadays than laugh lines. It's absolutely unacceptable. I have a freaking degree and I deserve more than this. I deserve to be in a better environment where I enjoy my job and the people around me inspire each other to work harder, instead of irritating the hell out of each other because they're so damn lazy.

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